The parents of my Godson, are truly amazing people. They are very young, late teens. I told them I am proud of them for what they have done in the face of so much adversity. They keep thanking me for the little pep talks I keep giving them. And the some 19 million dollars I have spent on my them and my Godson LOL And the college fund I started for him.
I have told them numerous times that Love is Respect. That they need to cherish each other. They need to respect one another's boundaries, communication is so important, and make sure they always hold themselves accountable for what they do. Their actions are their own. This is something that so many people in my life did not understand and all of them lost me because of it.
They talked to me about my previous relationship, or tried to, and I kind of shot down the conversation. They already know most of it. It's one of the main reasons they asked me to be a Godparent. They wondered how I am so strong and was unphased by so much that happened. I explained to them it was because I had someone in my life that truly loved me. She showed me what respect, accountability, boundaries, and really loving someone is actually about. The safety that I felt for being with someone who wanted me to grow, to feel like there was open communication, I have the ability to talk to her without her feeling attacked or getting defensive and deflecting.
They see how much happier I am now, how much more at peace, how much more loved, and I explained to them I am sleeping for 10 hours a night since 2017. There is a perk to being completely untouchable too. I told them to do what I did and to shut social media to avoid any sort of negative influences. The bullshit endless flow of information and the people who sideways backhand people they claimed to once love are ridiculous. They all trash certain people in their lives and try to pass little messages along like high schoolers. I told her she kind of needs to work on that for her relationship to last. That she depends so much on signals and signs that she needs to grow up and speak and communicate for her relationship to actually survive rather than hold her breath. I said me and her sister spent so many nights talking until dawn and really learned a lot about what someone requires. All of this is new to me. Respect, accountability, boundaries, it makes every past relationship fade to nothing when you get what you always should have had. She just goes "Based on what you did for your ex, you deserve to be treated amazing."
I told them I saw my ex a couple weeks ago and just went the other way. They asked if I thought about talking to her and I went "No. It was hard. I don't know her. It's not that I was mad or couldn't trust her again, I just didn't know her. She was a stranger to me now after what she did. I could see she has been destroying herself with booze and drugs and shit. I thought about texting her and asking if she was okay but then I thought I have no idea who she is anymore. That she doesn't need me to say anything because she can't feel guilt. Her youth, smile, the things she had when we spent long nights together or I protected her all of those times, it wasn't there anymore. It's terrible. She's just...gone. Her need for control and her anger poisoned her. Even her name if unfamiliar to me over the last 5 months."
They said something that was more touching than anything I had ever heard, well, the mom did. She goes "You have never had anyone there your entire life. I am so glad that my sister is there for you now." And that kind of hit home.
I made sure they understood these stories and I went over them several times. I don't want them to lose each other when they had been together for over 2 years. I thought since they were so young it was like an immediate pregnancy situation, but they actually dated for a year before she got pregnant. But I really hope they understand what compassion, understanding, communication, love, respect, and accountability all really mean to a relationship. They seem like a very strong couple and I am hoping they go the distance. They have done so much for one another since their baby was born.